Going through a divorce?
I know how you feel. You’re stressed out, overwhelmed, and completely emotionally drained.
Wait, here’s something you may not know…
Divorce is so much more than just “feeling sad.” Research has found that divorce is the second most stressful life event an individual can experience, just after the death of a spouse.
The good news is that divorce lawyers deal with hundreds of cases a year, and they know exactly what helps (and doesn’t help) when it comes to the emotional stress of divorce.
In this post, you’re going to learn:
- Why divorce is so emotionally stressful
- Divorce lawyers’ insider tips for coping
- Warning signs you need to reach out for help
- How to build your support system
Why Is Divorce So Stressful?
I’m going to let you in on a little secret…
Your stress is totally normal (even if that doesn’t feel true right now).
Think about everything you’re dealing with all at once:
- The loss of your future plans
- Disruption to your daily routine
- Financial instability
- The breakdown of your social circle
- Possibly even legal proceedings
You’re trying to figure out the logistics of life after divorce (legal matters, finances, co-parenting, etc. ), maintain some semblance of normalcy for your children, and work through some pretty intense emotions.
And if you’re looking for legal support during this time, schedule a free consultation with our divorce lawyers in Boise, Idaho to find out about the divorce services you may need to protect your legal rights and minimize stress throughout the process.
Here’s something else to keep in mind… Research indicates that 80% of separating couples report significant emotional stress. If you’re struggling, you are by no means alone.
What Do Divorce Lawyers See Every Day
Divorce attorneys see their clients at their absolute lowest. They’ve dealt with every possible reaction and know what methods work best to help people cope.
Focus On What You Can Control
The biggest mistake people make?
Obsessing over things they can’t change. Their ex’s actions. The past. What they wish they could have done differently. It’s a stress cycle that goes on and on.
Instead, divorce lawyers tell their clients to focus on their own legal choices, their children’s wellbeing, their finances, and their own healing process. When you focus your energy on what you can actually control, your stress level decreases dramatically.
Build A Professional Support Team
Here’s something else most people don’t realize until they’re knee-deep in the divorce process…
You need a whole team, not just a lawyer. The divorce lawyers services you may need include:
- A competent divorce lawyer to navigate the legal process
- A therapist or counselor for emotional support
- A financial advisor for money matters
- A support group or trusted friends for daily encouragement
Your legal team works on your behalf. Your support team is there for you. Each person on your team focuses on one aspect of your divorce journey. That way, you don’t have to try to figure out everything on your own.
Setting Healthy Boundaries During Divorce
This is going to be tough…
But divorce lawyers will constantly advise their clients to set firm boundaries with their ex. Constant contact about non-essential things keeps you emotionally wrapped up.
Set some ground rules:
- Use email or text for non-urgent matters
- Keep communication focused on logistics only
- Don’t have discussions late at night
- Consider using a co-parenting app for kids
The less emotional energy you spend on unnecessary communication, the more you have to focus on your own wellbeing.
Managing The Day-To-Day Stress
Let’s be real for a second. Some days are just going to be harder than others.
Keep a routine. When everything feels like chaos, having a consistent daily routine will provide stability. Wake up at the same time, exercise.
Limit major decisions. Your brain is already overloaded. Don’t make more stress for yourself right now.
Practice self-care guilt-free. Get enough sleep, eat well, and do things that make you happy.
Stay off social media. Comparing your life to others will only make you feel worse.
Red Flags You Need Additional Help
Here’s what divorce lawyers look for…
Sometimes emotional stress is just too much to deal with alone. If you’re experiencing these warning signs, seek out a professional mental health expert.
- Persistent feelings of hopelessness
- Sleeping problems that last more than a few nights
- Change in appetite or weight
- Isolating yourself from friends and family
- Difficulty concentrating on basic tasks
Don’t wait until things get more difficult. Divorce lawyers often recommend their clients start working with therapists from the start.
Protecting Your Children From Stress
If you have children, this is so important…
Your stress directly affects them. Kids pick up on your tension even if you think you’re hiding it well.
Divorce lawyers always stress to their clients not to bad-mouth the other parent to the children, keep consistent routines as much as possible, reassure them the divorce isn’t their fault, and keep them out of adult conversations. Consider family therapy to help the whole family adjust.
Managing Financial Stress
Money is one of the top causes of stress during divorce.
Get organized early. Gather all your financial documents and records. Understand your assets, debts, and expenses.
Create a realistic budget. You will likely be living on less money in the future. Start adjusting now.
Don’t do revenge spending. Don’t empty out accounts or make big purchases out of anger.
Focus on long-term stability. Work with your attorney to understand what is financially sustainable in your future.
Power of Your Support Network
Let me tell you something that divorce lawyers see all the time…
Clients who emotionally do best aren’t trying to do this alone. They have a strong support system.
Your support system may include close friends, family, support groups, and your religious community. But here’s the secret… You actually have to reach out and let people help you. Don’t shut people out.
Planning For The Future
This is something you might not even want to think about right now…
But divorce lawyers know that having something to work toward in the future can minimize stress. Think about where you want to live. Career goals. Hobbies you’ve wanted to try. Even just having a picture of life after divorce can give you hope.
Final Thoughts On Navigating Your Divorce Journey
Coping with emotional stress during divorce isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about getting through one day at a time.
Divorce lawyers see their clients transform from emotional wrecks to confident people all the time. It happens when you build a strong support team, focus on what you can control, and put effort into your mental health.
You will get through this. With the right help and support, you can come out the other side of your divorce ready to start the next chapter of your life.